In her book A Strange Stirring, Stephanie Coontz
evaluates the controversy and intense reaction to the 1963 best seller The Feminine Mystique, by Betty Friedan. Coontz reviewed countless letters to Friedan from
readers of The Feminine Mystique,
conducted numerous interviews and surveys, and completed extensive research of
the era to determine and explain why Friedan’s book inspired and transformed so
many American women. In 1963 the normal
woman was considered to be one who was happy in her role as wife, mother, and
homemaker. Any woman who did not feel
fulfilled in this role was considered crazy and “clearly not normal.”[1] The
Feminine Mystique was more important to the intellectual and emotional
level of women at the time of its publication, due to the dissatisfaction and extreme
hopelessness experienced by this generation.
A Strange Stirring takes us through the
history and evolution of women from winning the right to vote in the 1920s
and entering the workforce in the 1940s, to their loss of individual identity and
a life limited to marriage and motherhood in the 1950s and early 1960s. After
gaining an education and experiencing opportunities in the world of work, women
were abruptly sent back into the home where they were expected to “cheerfully
sacrifice their intellectual and occupational aspirations for the more
satisfying achievement of getting a husband and helping him to succeed.”[2] Societal expectations dictated the role of
the husband to be the breadwinner and the role of the wife to be the
stay-at-home mother and homemaker. “After
World War II, the image of the American woman as a changing, growing individual
in a changing world was shattered. Her
limitless world shrunk to the cozy walls of home.”[3] The tightening of gender roles were
perpetuated by the booming economy and validated by Freudian psychiatrists,
educators, sociologists, women’s magazines and television. The role of wife and mother was acted out
daily on television by June Cleaver and Harriet Nelson, showing American
families just how happy and content life should be.[4] Women were considered at fault or inadequate
if they were not happy as full-time housewives.
Strong societal pressures manipulated and forced women into a “helpless
conformity.”[5] After a
decade of women becoming “increasingly incidental,” it was perfect timing for Friedan
to awaken women to the source of “the problem with no name” and help them to
reclaim their lives by fulfilling their potential in life. The problem was the societal role
expectations of women which Friedan named the “feminine mystique.” 
In 1963 women had
very little legal rights within a marriage other than the right to be properly
supported by her husband and her obligation to take care of the children and
home. The legal definitions of the law seemed to error on the side of the
man. Women were second-class citizens with little control or voice over the social
and political injustices towards them. The
prevailing ideology for this generation was for women to get married and
discard their own dreams and interests for the benefit of their husbands. “Beneath the daily routines and surface
contentment of most housewives’ lives lay a deep well of insecurity,
self-doubt, and unhappiness that they could not articulate even to themselves.”[6] Their life was much better than their parents
and they didn’t have to work, so they felt guilty over the emptiness they were
experiencing as housewives and helpless to change their situation. Women were required to stifle their feelings of
inadequacy and suffer alone; assuming they were the problem. Stay-at-home wives were in a terrible state of mind when Betty Friedan first introduced The Feminine Mystique;
giving these women the support, acceptance, and challenge they were looking for
and greatly needed. 
Besides giving their problem a name, Friedan was able to help women
understand their feelings and realize they were not crazy as suggested by their
Freudian psychiatrists. More importantly Friedan let these women know
they were not alone in their feelings of hopelessness and guilt. One woman
wrote that she was so depressed that she went to see a psychiatrist who told
her she should be ashamed of herself.
She believed that, if not for Friedan’s book, she would have killed
herself.[7] Another woman wrote that she was relieved to
find out she wasn’t crazy. And yet
another stated she had been seeing a psychiatrist for eight months with no
success. After reading the book she sent
him a copy with a note telling him to “read it before he ever again told a
woman that all she needed was to come to terms with her ‘feminine nature.’”[8] Similar stories kept appearing that
demonstrated the magnitude of the problem and the difference this book made in
so many lives. Most of the women
interviewed by Coontz “started seeing their anxiety as a legitimate social
grievance rather than an individual problem.
This insight gave them the courage to pursue their dreams.”[9]
While biased towards white, educated,
middle-class women, The Feminine
Mystique’s support of a woman’s right to work benefited all women;
working-class, middle-class, black and white.[10] Friedan focused on this class of privileged
women for a couple of reasons. First,
Friedan herself was in this demographic and experienced the same frustrations and
struggles as her audience. She portrayed
herself as a helpless conformer who was unhappy in her role and, therefore, could
best identify with this audience and they could identify with her. Secondly, since this group of privileged
women experienced “more” in life prior to marriage they were most likely to be
impacted by the “problem with no name.”
Their education and subsequent job experience made it hard to settle
down and give up their intellectual and occupational aspirations. This group tended to be the unhappiest about
their situation and felt the most guilt as a result of their privileged life
style; they had the choice to work or not.
Working-class women did not have a choice. It took two incomes to survive and pay the
bills. However, working class women also
experienced feelings of hopelessness and embraced The Feminine Mystique calling it “the most factual true book” and
looking forward to more in life.[11] Friedan spoke to all women by rejecting the
view that women who worked or pursued an education would be harming their
marriage or their children.[12]
Betty Friedan touched
millions of women with her book. She was instrumental in rerouting attitudes
and breaking down barriers that kept women from achieving their full potential
in life. In the years following the publication
of The Feminine Mystique, the
feminine movement began gaining traction once again. While women of today are still plagued by
discrimination, there are more choices afforded them in regards to employment
and education opportunities. Many of the
issues outlined in the book are now socially acceptable. For that reason, The Feminine Mystique appears outdated and insignificant by today’s
standards. Women have greater
self-confidence and self-esteem to challenge mediocrity and reject any
stereotypes of femininity.
[1] Stephanie Coontz, A
Strange Stirring: The Feminine Mystique
and AMERICAN WOMEN at the DAWN of the 1960s
(New York, NY: Basic Books, 2012), 69.
[2] Coontz, A Strange Stirring, 112.
[3] Coontz, A Strange Stirring, 36.
[4] Coontz, A
Strange Stirring, 22.
[5] Coontz, A Strange Stirring, 37.
[6] Coontz, A
Strange Stirring, 18.
[7] Coontz, A
Strange Stirring, 83.
[8] Coontz, A
Strange Stirring, 81.
[9] Coontz, A
Strange Stirring, 85.
[10] Coontz, A Strange Stirring, 138.
[11] Coontz, A
Strange Stirring, 105.
[12] Coontz, A
Strange Stirring, 33.
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